2/24/14

Floating on.

      I tend to notice small things. Things like an early blossom on the branches of a tree. The complexities of colors in a sunset. Cracks in the brickwork of an old building.

      However, I also get caught up in the little things. A less than perfect score on a test. A passing comment a friend made. My lack of self-confidence.
      I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Maybe it's just the human in me to get caught up in the small things? Maybe I try to distract myself from the big things with things of little consequence? But as I look out at the world around me, I see that I'm not alone. Everyone is rushing around in their own little world, checking little things off a never-ending to-do list. We become so preoccupied with the inconsequential that we forgot the things of great consequence. We carry around heavy burdens of tasks that we assigned to ourselves. And even if we didn't assign them to ourselves, why do we let them become so heavy?
      This is especially true with me and my depression--I get so caught up in the day to day struggles that I forget to look for the good in the bigger picture. In the painting of life, my depression urges me to keep staring at the dark clouds instead of taking in the bigger picture and the beauty of it. If I can't find the beauty right that second, then I at least need to be okay with "okay" until things get better. 
      So that is a new goal for me: letting things go. There is so much more to my life than the to-do's. If I don't do perfectly on something, the world isn't going to end. The sun always rises, the smile always finds its way to my lips. The darkness doesn't last forever, and if I try hard enough, I realize that in reality I'm surrounded by sunshine. It's not worth it to get weighed down by the little things when in reality I could be soaring. 


I just gotta take a step back and breathe.